So started reading Dr Phil's Relationship Rescue *insert laughter/giggles at the fact I'm reading Dr Phil here* and so have decided to post parts that I think stand out.

pg 28 " But I'm telling you that the reality of your relationship along with your overall lifestyle are one hundred percent inextricably intertwined. If you have not designed and carried out your life to create or allow distance instead of intimacy, combativeness instead of cooperation, blame and rejection instead of accountability and acceptance, you cannot maintain the erosion and pain you are now experiencing. Problems dont flourish in isolation. They have to have help and nurturance."

pg 30 "You can't control your partner. You can't make changes for your partner. You can't tell your partner what to do. But you can inspire your partner. You can give your partner a whole new set of behaviours and new set of stimuli to respond to. If you drop out of the destructive mind-set and vicious circle of mutually frustrating interactions that are causing your relationship to implode, if you drop out of the fight and start living a new way, its going to be real difficult for your partner to continue spewing and seeking venom. You can stop sabotaging yourself and your relationship, and you can start inspiring the kind of reactions you want from your partner. In the face of such constructive input, he/she can't fight alone, agrue alone, or continue to be offended. Your partner can pout for a while, perhaps withdraw and be suspicious for a while, but eventually he/she is going to feel pretty stupid sitting over in the corner while you seem to be getting so very much happier and so much more optimistic and at peace with yourself."

pg 32 "Until you begin to live with dignity, respect, and emotional integrity, you will not have that quality and level of interaction with anyone else. As I like to say, you cannot give away what you do not have. If you don't have a pure and healthy love and regard for yourself how can you possibly give that to anyone else, then how can you possibly expect it to be reciprocated?"

pg 35 " It is not too late. If you do not allow yourself to believe and accept that, you will think your way out of this relationship before we have the chance to save it. You may think your relationship has failed, you may feel like you have tried everything, you may feel tired, deflated, and defeated, but I'm telling you, you have to get that thought out of your head or you are dead in the water with an anvil tied around your ankle."

" No matter how many times you've been hurt - no matter how many times you've been disappointed, no matter how many times you've believed it would have been different only to be blindsided again - you have to be willing to give yourself one more chance. Even if you have hurt so long and so badly that you arent at all sure if you are whether your relationship survives; even if youre not sure you can ever subject yourself to anymore pain from a relationship; even if you do not feel motivated or very hopeful, you can start getting out of your ditch if you will just say to yourself, "I WISH I felt good about my relationship again." That's all we need"

pg 37 "You are closer to success than you could ever imagine if you just have the courage to get real with yourself."